Dangerous chemistry

Dangerous chemistry


Teacher : Mrs. Simpson (Gamze)
Pupil : Chrissie (Jenny)
Chrissie’ best friend : Katie (Jasmin)
Another pupil Tina: (Charleen)
Mrs. Simpson’s husband : Roger (Marvin)
Chrissie’ Aunt : Lorey (Lisa)
Chrissie’ boyfriend Ronnie (Timo)




SCENE 1


The pupils are sitting in the class room and are waiting for Mrs. Simpson and their chemistry lesson.

KATIE: She will come in and say... Sorry I’m late. Then she will bore us to death. Every day the same… I can’t stand it anymore…

Tina: That’s true. I hate her.

CHRISSIE: She can’t organize the lessons. She just stands in front of the black board and says “I’m the teacher.”

KATIE: Stupid teacher…

CHRISSIE: Dumb teacher…

Tina: She is coming.


The pupils are preparing to throw paper balls. Mrs. Simpson comes in.


Tina: Fireeeeeee!

MRS. SIMPSON: Oh, my goodness. Stop all of you.

Tina: Stop !!!


They stop. Mrs. Simpson is frustrated.


MRS SIMPSON: Sorry I´m late, but that doesn’t mean you have to throw paper balls at me.

CHRISSIE: Oh I beg your pardon, we didn’t mean it.

MRS. SIMPSON: Yeah, sure! Well,… let’s start! Who would like to explain what we did last week?

Tina: (whispering to Chrissie): She doesn´t remember herself, I bet.


Mrs. Simpson is waiting for an answer.


MRS. SIMPSON: Oh, nobody know’s it.. What a surprise….
KATIE: I’ll start of course… But… um…eh… am… Sorry but… oh I don´t remember.

MRS. SIMPSON: Oh, well. Let´s do an experiment instead. Chrissie, could you please come here.

CHRISSIE: Why me?

Tina: (speaking aside to the others): Because she hates you.

Katie laughs.

MRS.SIMPSON: Come here and mix these two substances and then you watch what happens.


Chrissie mixes the substances. Mrs. Simpson is standing next to her. Suddenly, there is an explosion. Mrs. Simpson and Chrissie fall on the floor and lie there unconsciously.


KATIE: Oh, my God. Chrissie? She runs towards her.


Chrissie and Mrs Simpson slowly wake up again. They stand up and look at each other, Chrissie touches her body (Mrs Simpson) and starts screaming. Mrs. Simpson, too. They touch their body and can’t believe what has happened. They have switched bodies.


CHRISSIE: Chrissie? What have you done?

MRS. SIMPSON: I don’t know. I only mixed these two substances and suddenly… BOOOOM..

KATIE (surprised): Are you two okay. What are you talking about?

CHRISSIE: Nothing. I´m great. (whispering to Mrs Simpson). Oh, my goodness. What should we do now?

Mrs Simpson touches her body and looks enthusiastic.

CHRISSIE: Chrissie? What are you doing? Please stop it, it’s my body.

MRS. SIMPSON: Oh, my god. I' m grown up..

Tina: Are you completely mad, Mrs Simpson? Of course you are grown up. I´ll go to the office and get an ambulance. I think that we have to take them to hospital.

CHRISSIE: (looking down at herself) And I am a teenager. Oh my God, what will my husband say?

KATIE: Chriissssie. Your husband? Are you raving mad? Tina, don´t leave me alone with these two. I´ll come with you.


They both leave the room very quickly.


CHRISSIE: Okay. What should we do now?

MRS. SIMPSON: I don’t know. Oh my god my friends. They think I am a goner.

CHRISSIE: Friends? Oh my god my husband.

MRS. SIMPSON: Fuck! Oh my god.. Oh my god… Please don’t say that I must sleep in one bed with him…

CHRISSIE: Oh, my goodness… Tonight….

MRS. SIMPSON: What are saying?

CHRISSIE: Nothing…Nothing…And. how can we go home like that today?

MRS. SIMPSON: I don’t know… But we have to do it.

CHRISSIE: We don´t have a choice.… We must behave like you are me and I’m you.

MRS. SIMPSON: No… don’t go to my house… It isn’t good there!

CHRISSIE: I’m sure it’s not as bad as you try to make me think.

MRS. SIMPSON: Hmmm… Ok. And what should I do when I’m in your home?

CHRISSIE: Work. Don´t talk to my husband. Avoid him, please.

MRS. SIMPSON: Well, let’s see what is going to happen.

CHRISSIE: We should go home now and act normally. And nobody will notice what happened.

MRS. SIMPSON: Good! Where do you live? And how do I get there? Can I take your car?

CHRISSIE: Nooooooooooooo!

The lights fade.




SCENE 2:


The lights go on again.. The scenes in Chrissie’ house and in Mrs Simpson’s house are played together on stage. Chrissie enters her home. Her aunt comes towards her.

LOREY: Where were you all the time? I was getting nervous!!

CHRISSIE: I had to stay longer because I forgot to show my chemistry homework yesterday.

LOREY: Oh, your stupid teacher! The woman is…

CHRISSIE: What am I?

LOREY: What did you say?

CHRISSIE: I mean… What is Mrs Simpson?

LOREY: You don’t have to know! Well, go and do your damn homework. And by the way. A boy named Ronnie came to see you. Whose this Ronnie?

CHRISSIE: Ronnie. I have no idea. (she speaks to the audience). Seriously. Who is Ronnie? Is he my boyfriend. Oh, please, no.

The bells rings again. Aunt Lorey goes to the door and comes back with Ronnie. Lorey leaves the room.

RONNIE: Are you okay, sweetie. Kate said you had an accident at school today?

CHRISSIE: Hello. Hmm. You must be Ronnie. Right?

RONNIE: Are you mad, Chrissie? Of course I am Ronnie.

CHRISSIE: Oh, yes. Now I remember you.

RONNIE: Good.

CHRISSIE: You are Ronnie Hazelwood from 9E, aren´t you? Mrs Miller always complains about you.

RONNIE: Chrissie, are you okay today? You seem a bit confused. Have you seen a doctor?

CHRISSIE: Oh, nooo. Thank you. You better leave now. I have to do my homework for chemistry and English.

RONNIE: Your homework? You can´t be serious. You never do your homework for Mrs Simpson. You hate that cow.

CHRISSIE: That´s not true. She is a great teacher and a fine person. I like her very much.

RONNIE: Oh, my God. You like Mrs Simpson. You are strange today. Go and see a doctor. This is serious. Bye.



Ronnie leaves. Chrissie sighs and gets her books.


CHRISSIE: I am glad he didn´t try to kiss me, that boy. Aaarg! Well, let´s see. Math…History…English…Chemistry…oh, my god! Science…Art…Physics…enough for the whole day…


She sits down and picks up her English book and starts to read.

CHRISSIE: Copy the grammar from page 123 and fill in the correct verbs in exercises 5,6,8,9…Which verbs?? And four exercises??

She takes another book, begins to read.


CHRISSIE: What?? Four pages in history?? Read and sum up?? Who needs history anyway?

Chrissie starts to write something. The lights are turned off for a few seconds. Then they are turned on again. All the books are scattered on the floor. Chrissie looks very tired and sighs. Her aunt Lorey comes in and shouts at her.

LOREY: Two hours have passed and you still haven´t finished???


Chrissie only looks at her, yawns and then drops to the side.. The light fades. The lights are now on the other side of the stage where Mrs Simpson plays.
Mrs. Simpson enters her home.


Roger : Hey, darling! Finally you’re here.


He wants to give her a kiss but she turns away.


ROGER: What happened, my boo?

MRS. SIMPSON: Nothing… It´s only that I have to do much work.

ROGER: Yes, you are right. You have to mark the tests, right?

MRS.SIMPSON: What? A test?

ROGER: Yes... I think you don’t remember...right?

MRS.SIMPSON: Of course I remember… I’m only a bit stressed.

ROGER. Ok… You mark the tests now and I’ll go to the kitchen to cook something for tonight… And you know… tonight.

MRS SIMPSON: No, I don’t know…I am tired anyway. And I have a terrible headache.


Mrs. Simpson goes to her room. Another part of the stage is now her office.
There is a mountain of documents, Mrs Simpson picks some up and sighs. Then the phone rings.


MRS SIMPSON:: What’s that?? Oh, my god…… How can I mark these test? I’m not a teacher. Oh, what the hell. That can´t be so difficult. Just take a red pen, write a few comments and and give an E minus. That´s what that stupid Mrs Simpson always does with my tests.

She sits on the chair and tries to mark the tests.… She takes the first one and tries to write down something .

MRS SIMPSON: Is that correct? Don´t know. And I can´t even read the handwriting.

She stops and takes the another one. He takes another one.

MRS SIMPSON: Oh, my God. Give me back my body, please. I want to be a good student from now on. Just let me be myself again.




SCENE 3


The pupils are sitting in their class room again.

TINA: Are you ready?

CHRISSIE: Ready for what?

KATIE: Come on. Where are the paper balls?

CHRISSIE: Ah, the paper balls.

TINA: Okay, she is coming.

CHRISSIE: Morning, Mrs. Simpson!

Mrs Simpson comes in with her bag held in front of her like a shield. The pupils want to throw, but stop in their movement.

KATIE: What is she doing?

TINA: I don’t know…but how did she know that we planned it again?

MRS.SIMPSON: Chrissie, could you come with me?

CHRISSIE: Of course.

MRS SIMPSON: The rest of class is quiet, please.


The spot is on Chrissie and Mrs. Simpson.


CHRISSIE: What happened yesterday? Was everything okay?

MRS.SIMPSON: It was okay… I slept in your office.

CHRISSIE: In my office? Why?

MRS.SIMPSON: Mrs. Simpson, you know what would have happened.


Chrissie laughs.


MRS.SIMPSON: What can we do…? I can´t fight off your husband another night.

CHRISSIE: I don´t know.
MRS SIMPSON: And please don´t answer when my boyfriend calls.


The lights go out




SCENE 5


They’re in the classroom again.


CHRISSIE: Well…We’ll start with English grammar

CLASS: Oh, not again!

Mrs Simpson is getting nervous. She hesitates. Suddenly…She takes the chalk and tries to write something on the black board and begins to explain the English grammar.


MRS.SIMPSON: So… um yes… well … HE / SHE / IT…the verb needs an s …. Don’t forget that.

The class is very loud and everybody is talking.


MRS.SIMPSON: Be quiet now… Please.

The class is still very noisy.


MRS. SIMPSON: Now that´s enough.

She turns around and starts to explain something else.

MRS. SIMPSON: Now present progressive…


The class laughs, she is frustrated.


MRS.SIMPSON: Ok, ok…. Then…Here is your homework… Copy these sentences into your exercise book and learn them.

She writes a sentence which is wrong…”I’m going now at home to finished the dishes.”
The class laughs.


CHRISSIE: Chrissie, please come outside with me!

TINA: What has she done now?

The class starts to shout “boo” at her. They go together outside.


CHRISSIE: Do you see! Being a teacher is not as easy as you all think!

MRS SIMPSON: Yes, it’s true… I have never understood why teachers look that tired. But now…now that I have seen the class tests, I understand your bad mood!

CHRISSIE: Well, you know what. Your life is also not that easy… When I saw how much homework you had to do and that you had hardly any time for yourself I was a bit shocked!

MRS. SIMPSON: Yes…

CHRISSIE: Where are your parents?

MRS. SIMPSON: My parents? I don’t know who they are.

CHRISSIE: Oh…I’m sorry.

MRS. SIMPSON: Well it doesn’t matter to me. You know, I never met them.

CHRISSIE:: Oh, Chrissie …

MRS. SIMPSON: Okay. And what should I do now with the pupils?

CHRISSIE: No problem, you will survive. Set an exercise in the workshop. That will keep them busy.


They go back to the class room.




SCENE 5


The pupils go home and Mrs. Simpson waits for Katie.


MRS. SIMPSON: KATIEE…Help me! I’ve got a problem.

KATIE: Mrs. Simpson…you are very impolite.

MRS. SIMPSON: No. It’s me…Chrissie!

KATIE: Hahahaha…!A good joke.

MRS. SIMPSON: Noo…Katie believe me, please.

KATIE: How am I suppose to know that it’s you?

MRS. SIMPSON: Hmm...Mrs. Simpson couldn’t have known that you would throw the paper balls again. It was me.


KATIE: True. But I don´t believe you. Hmm, what´s your Aunt Lorey´s secret nickname?

MRS SIMPSON: That´s an easy one. It´s the human dragon.

KATIE: Oookay. Chrissie? But how come you are in her body?

MRS. SIMPSON: Well, the chemistry experiment. Remember? We both fell on the floor. Something terrible happened then.

KATIE: Oh my goodness. (She laughs)

MRS. SIMPSON: It’s not funny!

KATHIE: Ok, ok! But I’m just imagining what it feels like to start your day knowing that you have to teach a bunch of terrible teenagers. Do you wake up sweating? I mean are you afraud of us?

MRS SIMPSON: Ok, I got it and I know it sounds funny, but you are the expert in chemistry !! Invent something to help me!!!

KATIE: Ha ha ha, a good joke! We live in the 21st century and not in the year 3005!!

MRS: SIMPSON: Wow, now I told you my problem and you can’t help me…

KATIE: Maybe, you have to mix the same substances like you did yesterday.

MRS. SIMPSON: Katie!!! You’re a genius!!


Mrs. Simpson runs out of the class room.





SCENE 6

Mrs. Simpson and Chrissie are in chemistry room and try to mix the same substances.


CHRISSIE: I think I’ve got it now.

MRS. SIMPSON: Really?

CHRISSIE: But I don’t know if it will work.

MRS. SIMPSON: I hope that nothing worse will happens to us. Imagine myself switching my body with the headmistress.

CHRISSIE: Don’t worry. We have to try it.

MRS. SIMPSON: Okay.

She mixes the substances but nothing happens.

MRS. SIMPSON: And?

CHRISSIE: Nothing!! There was no explosion!

MRS SIMPSON: Shit.


Mrs. Simpson hits the table because she is very angry. There is an explosion. Both Chrissie and Mrs Simpson fall on the floor. They are unconscious for a moment and then they wake up again and look at each other and then at themselves.


MRS. SIMPSON: My body!!! I’m in my own body!!! We did it!!!

CHRISSIE: What a relief. I thought I had to be a grown up for the rest of my life.

MRS SIMPSON: Believe me. Being a pupil would have been just as bad for me.

CHRISSIE: Damn. I didn´t get the chance to give everyone an A in English and Chemistry in the school reports.
.
MRS SIMPSON: And I didn´t get the chance to flirt with that boy Ronnie from 9E.

CHRISSIE: Mrs Simpson!!! Don´t you dare. He´s my boyfriend. And you are married. Remember.

MRS SIMPSON: Hey, Chrissie. I was just joking. Me and Ronnie. That would be dangerous chemistry.


They both laugh. The lights go out.

THE END

Written by the students of the German team from Städtische Realschule Kastanienallee Velbert-Germany